Whats the cure? What is the cure to all the problems people face today? I know everyone has their own problems but this is my damn page so I get to talk about the things that are an itch I just cant seem to scratch.
It seemed forever that I waslooked to for alot of answers. Even at the age of 17 and on, people like my Father, mother, brother, girfriends, friends and total strangers always would come to me for answers. I had them. I was a great listener. And many times even suprised myself with the results of my advice. But where did all the answers go? It seems that as the days go by I seem to get dumber.
I am not sure if it was the "ol school" upbringing my father had given to me that made me wiser. Or if it was the failed attempts of relationships peple had that I seen crumble that I learned from. Or even the total inner explosion of my brother and the " me-me-me" personality of my mother. But somewhere between 9 and 26 I was the fountain of great information. And then it just was gone. Just like someone clapped their hands and thelights went off.
I guess that with all those answers a confident man stood behind them. I felt untouchable to failure. Immune to pain. But when my business started failing and the loss of my father, my crytonite had been found. I am human. And as I a will oftn do I will refer back to a westling analogy. The Champ had finally checked out. I had lost it all. I a matter of a few months. Gone.
I drove 50,000 dollar trucks. HAd the toys: 4-wheelers, boats, cassic cars, ect. All gone. I was human. Maybe for the first time in my life.
Now, feeling I have lost all the answers, nd having noone to get them from, I am at the base of a huge mountain looking up. And that is okay. I am appreciating things I once missed. Noticing that the best things in life are in fact free. And at the base of that mountain I have my strength. My wife. And it may sound mushy and tupid, but I do feel that we will climb it to together. Because of OUR strength we can do it. I may not have all the answers bu I know that Jenn and I an figue them out together. And maybe.......just maybe just when someone thinks THEY have the answers.........WE will change the questions!!!!!!
Enclosing, I am in fact still the champ in my life and plan to be for the next 50 years God willing. And all I can hope for is that my meory will not fail me. Please let me forget the hate my mother has, the self destruction of my brother, the self pitty of some friends, and let me remember the love and support of my in-laws, the leadership and flawless fathering of my Dad, and the warm embrace, endless love, and infinate wisdom of the greastst woman on the face of this planet and any other discovered, my Wife.
LJ
Monday, July 23, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Have to get on here.........cant let wife one-up me!!!
Well I guess since the Queen of my little castle is on here I have to follow suit. Cause everything she can do I can do better. ( I olove you babe). I know I do not need to run down the long, long, long list of things that I dominate you at but just in case you forgot, darts, horse shoes, poker, baseball ( cards), softball, monopoly, yatzee, risk, golf, wheel of fortune, family feud, thumb wrestling, and the list goes on.
Now with all that being said, I can not tell storeis or feeling as well as she can. I can't use the proper spelling or grammer like her. I will miss type often. I guess you would say I am the common man of typing/blogging. And to be honest I never knew what a blog was till I seen this.
But I am sure that anyone who will be reading this anyway knows who I am, how I talk, and what I am about so I am not to worried about it.
Well about me, I am a 29 year old, married father of 5 kids, 1 stepdaughter. Owner of three dogs. And work at Lowe's in Mtn Home. I love everything about my life. ANd I can thank 1 person and one person only for that and that is my wife Jenn. As the heading of this thing say's, I am the King and Champ. Mainly because of her. Now you have to understand that I am a huge wrestling freak. But like in any sport there is always a champion. And every morining I get up and see her next to me, it feels like when you are the Super bowl champ's in front of all their fans holding up the trophy. Or I feel like Hulk Hogan holding the championship belt in front of all his fans after winning the match. I may never put on another football helmet, and I will never lace up a pair of wrestling boots. Put I promise that the spotlight is always shinning down on me and she is the reason why. Some people in life will have a best friend they can always count on. Some will have a true love of their life that makes thier heart melt. But you know you hit the jack pot when you find the one that is both. And I firmly belived she saved my life. Literally.
August 1st is right around the corner. What is special about that day? That is the worst day in my life. A day I will never forget. The day my Dad passed away almost 3 years ago now. Some people see me now and all my hapiness but it did not used to be like that . I had to go to the ER for a suicide watch. I called my doctor and talked to him,(he was good friend of the family). And I am not telling all of this for some sympathy it is leading up to something. And this was when Jenn and I were just seeing each other. But she was there for me through the whole thing. From the call from my mom telling me she could not find dad, to the 911 call I made. Throught the hour+ wait on the dock as the divers went down to see if he was down there. And ever to watch the boat carry my Dads body to the launch ramp, place him in the hearse and drive right past us. She was there with my hand in hers. And at this point i was coming out of a nightmare of a relationship so I wasnt sure about women nor did I have much interest of getting burned. But she was always there. It was never about her either. She never brought up a single need she had, what she wanted to talk about. And if there was just silence she would let it be she would not jsut ramble on. I would honestly bet if she was not there at that time I would be partying with my Dad right now. Jennifer was my strenght. I had nobody when my dad dies. I was not close to my mom. My best friend at the time was sleeping with my slut of a girlfriend that I had just left. Jenn you are the reason that I am still here. ( I am sure some wish you would not have come) hehe.
Once the acceptance of my fathers passing started to set in I began to notice what was in front of my face. Like I said before I can not put things in fancy terms but it was alot like sitting outside in the morning watching the sun come up. you just are looking around at all the pretty trees and stuff then all the sudden the sun is in the sky. It is right there. And that is how she was for me. Once the complete depresion started to fade I started t osee what I had right in front of me. And I think for once I wasnt taken by looks first. I realized that she had put me first. And she was pouring out all her emotions and I was not giving anything back. Not because I didnt like her but because I had so much on my mind I was in overload mode. If I was her I would have bolted. She built our relationship. And she built this great thing that we have now. And I am so thankful to God that this is one " golden" opportunity that he did not let pass me by.
And the rest is history. I guess I could type all day on this but I gotta leave something to type about another time.
Llew
Now with all that being said, I can not tell storeis or feeling as well as she can. I can't use the proper spelling or grammer like her. I will miss type often. I guess you would say I am the common man of typing/blogging. And to be honest I never knew what a blog was till I seen this.
But I am sure that anyone who will be reading this anyway knows who I am, how I talk, and what I am about so I am not to worried about it.
Well about me, I am a 29 year old, married father of 5 kids, 1 stepdaughter. Owner of three dogs. And work at Lowe's in Mtn Home. I love everything about my life. ANd I can thank 1 person and one person only for that and that is my wife Jenn. As the heading of this thing say's, I am the King and Champ. Mainly because of her. Now you have to understand that I am a huge wrestling freak. But like in any sport there is always a champion. And every morining I get up and see her next to me, it feels like when you are the Super bowl champ's in front of all their fans holding up the trophy. Or I feel like Hulk Hogan holding the championship belt in front of all his fans after winning the match. I may never put on another football helmet, and I will never lace up a pair of wrestling boots. Put I promise that the spotlight is always shinning down on me and she is the reason why. Some people in life will have a best friend they can always count on. Some will have a true love of their life that makes thier heart melt. But you know you hit the jack pot when you find the one that is both. And I firmly belived she saved my life. Literally.
August 1st is right around the corner. What is special about that day? That is the worst day in my life. A day I will never forget. The day my Dad passed away almost 3 years ago now. Some people see me now and all my hapiness but it did not used to be like that . I had to go to the ER for a suicide watch. I called my doctor and talked to him,(he was good friend of the family). And I am not telling all of this for some sympathy it is leading up to something. And this was when Jenn and I were just seeing each other. But she was there for me through the whole thing. From the call from my mom telling me she could not find dad, to the 911 call I made. Throught the hour+ wait on the dock as the divers went down to see if he was down there. And ever to watch the boat carry my Dads body to the launch ramp, place him in the hearse and drive right past us. She was there with my hand in hers. And at this point i was coming out of a nightmare of a relationship so I wasnt sure about women nor did I have much interest of getting burned. But she was always there. It was never about her either. She never brought up a single need she had, what she wanted to talk about. And if there was just silence she would let it be she would not jsut ramble on. I would honestly bet if she was not there at that time I would be partying with my Dad right now. Jennifer was my strenght. I had nobody when my dad dies. I was not close to my mom. My best friend at the time was sleeping with my slut of a girlfriend that I had just left. Jenn you are the reason that I am still here. ( I am sure some wish you would not have come) hehe.
Once the acceptance of my fathers passing started to set in I began to notice what was in front of my face. Like I said before I can not put things in fancy terms but it was alot like sitting outside in the morning watching the sun come up. you just are looking around at all the pretty trees and stuff then all the sudden the sun is in the sky. It is right there. And that is how she was for me. Once the complete depresion started to fade I started t osee what I had right in front of me. And I think for once I wasnt taken by looks first. I realized that she had put me first. And she was pouring out all her emotions and I was not giving anything back. Not because I didnt like her but because I had so much on my mind I was in overload mode. If I was her I would have bolted. She built our relationship. And she built this great thing that we have now. And I am so thankful to God that this is one " golden" opportunity that he did not let pass me by.
And the rest is history. I guess I could type all day on this but I gotta leave something to type about another time.
Llew
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